Tuesday, November 17, 2009

shackles... that must have been made by a man

the worst constricting device ever conceived by man is...




not bras... dont be conceited...

braces are by far the worst self impost movement impairing device since the advent of the iron maiden. come talk to be when your bra is made of stainless steel bars that:

A) have a series of self serrated hooks that act like a patch of velcro from hell, grabbing on to large chunks of formerly firm flesh and fellieting it forcefully; to the extent that you would be will into stuff chunks of what was once a crayola crayon in another life but because if some horrible misdeed (assassination by scribbles perhaps?) has new been reforged into rods of placation for the plaque riddled maw of some teen. and that B) is constantly applying pressure to reshape that wich it contains. As much bad press as an under wire gets, that under wire is not trying to place your left boob on your right shoulder and you right boob rotated 180 degrees and placed on your adams apple. while simultainiously trying to crush one into a "B" and the other stretched into an "E". Finally a bra doesnt have to stay on for 2 and a half years un able to be removed collecting untold magnitudes of unclean organic and inorganic particles. creating a churning mire of chernobyllian perportions.

No comments:

Post a Comment